We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
