he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
