How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
