my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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