masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
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I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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