OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize