Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
