I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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