Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
