She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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