At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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