You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize