I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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