Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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