i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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