so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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