...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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