Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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