I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
