Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
