me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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