I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
