is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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