so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
