Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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