Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
