would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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