AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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