Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
