O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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