I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
