Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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