My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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