i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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