I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
