The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
