Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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