She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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