I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
