Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
