Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
