Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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