How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
