I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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