His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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