I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pappa wants mamma naked
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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