You work out of a Hotel?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
