Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
