Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
