I'm lost and stupid without you.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
