Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
