apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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