not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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