And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
