He told me they were just razor bumps!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
