90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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